Adversities—illness, depression, financial problems, loss of work, etc.—often catch us by surprise.
No matter if they happen on a personal level or global scale, they can crush us. Sometimes, it may feel like we’ve been hit by a bus, unable to recover. And in our minds, we may wish we had the ability of a cartoon character to simply pop back into a 3-D shape after we’ve been run over.
Unfortunately, physically that would be rather unlikely. But we can recover from a mental and emotional blow, even if it may take some time.
What’s the secret? – Resilience.
Personal Resilience: The Secret to Conquering from Within
Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity, to spring back and move forward despite a crushing blow.
Have you ever wondered how resilient you are? Is it something you’re born with or something you can develop?
Generally speaking, mental health professionals acknowledge that it seems some people are born with greater resilience than others. But they also believe that, for those who have not been blessed it from birth, it’s possible to learn to develop resilience.
How?
Here are four key steps to cultivating resilience and learning to conquer adversities from within:
Step #1: Adjust Your Point of View
As humans, we naturally focus more on the negative than the positive. While changing a particular, challenging situation may be out of our hands, we can adjust the way we think about it, shifting our focus and viewpoint.
In reality, positive things happen to us much more often than negative ones. We just need to make the effort to deliberately notice and appreciate these positive experiences when they occur. In that way, each and every day, we’re building an archive of positivity. Then, for every negative thing that happens to us, we can balance it with recalling several positive ones.
Aside from shifting our attention to the positive, we can also alter how we think about the negative event and the emotions it evokes. When we view adversities as permanent, it’s hard to bounce back because there’s no silver lining at the horizon. But when we can look at them as temporary, our whole attitude toward the situation changes.
Step #2: Laugh, Love, and Lead
Laughter is a powerful way to relieve the pain of a difficult situation. Using humor can be very empowering. It not only lessens the stress and tension of the adversity, but it also can create an inner belief that we’re bigger than the problem: “This too shall pass.”
As we lighten the mood, we’re also more prone to perform loving acts of kindness. Which, in themselves, can be helpful in building resilience as well. In fact, consistently being helpful and generous to others creates a cumulative effect in mood-enhancing serotonin levels which also helps to increase your resilience to negative events.
Interestingly enough, accepting and showing appreciation for the kind acts of others toward us is just as important as offering them. Sometimes, we tend to forget about the value of taking the lead in expressing gratitude toward other people. Yet, gratitude is also a vital part of increasing personal resilience.
Step #3: Continue Learning and Growing
Resilient people learn from every adversity. Sometimes, the lesson may be hard. But when we can endure the discomfort and derive a purpose from it, we can transform our pain into a positive forward movement. In essence, the more we can learn and grow from enduring problems, the more resilient we can become.
How can we do that? First and foremost, instead of focusing on what’s wrong and who is to blame, we can ask neutral, non-judgmental questions to solve the problem. “What are the choices I have? How can I handle this situation? What value can I find in this? What is it trying to teach me?”
Learning as much as we can about the issue we’re confronted with is empowering. It promotes comprehensive thinking, acceptance, and optimism. All which leads to greater resilience.
Step #4: Prioritize Self-Care
Good self-care is fundamental to cultivating personal resilience. Healthy physical habits—such as eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep—are all important building blocks of that foundation. With a good routine in place, when adversity strikes, we’re less likely to slide into unhealthy habits.
Healthy mental and emotional practices—such as keeping our stress levels low, learning to relax, and taking regular mental breaks—keep us from becoming overwhelmed. Regularly meditation, deep breathing exercises, or just allowing ourselves to daydream can build up resistance to fall apart when things take a bad turn.
Moreover, spending time in nature helps not only combat anxiety and depression, but it also improves our immunity and expands our thinking ability. And better yet, spending time with loved ones—family and friends—and building strong social connections also increases our resilience in the face of calamity.
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Adversities can test our resilience. What if they reveal that we are not as resilient as we’d like to be? The four steps outlined in the post can help us nurture personal resilience on a daily basis.
If you would like to know more about how to handle difficulties in life or deal with excessive worries and anxiety, go to Anxiety Treatment.