Life is a succession of events, some insignificant and other big, but all of them matter. How we share them and how we perceive them is at the base of any relationship.

When you decide to commit to a relationship, you do it with the hope that it will last in time and that you will grow together and share our life with that other person. Then, life happens. Sometimes these commitments are tested by routines, kids, work, or even because you change.

It is hard when you feel alone in a relationship. Arguing about the same old issues can get you stuck in place. These arguments can make you become defensive and, at some point, unable to feel empathy for the other.

If you could only make the other see and understand you. If you could only have a relationship that stands the test of time. Know that it is possible with the right support. Couples therapy can help you with your relationship issues and help you have the relationship you wish for.

Most Couples Go Through Periods of Closeness and Separation Over the Course of Time

At least 50 percent of couples have gone at some point to couples therapy.[1] Couples go to couples counseling because they want to improve their communication, avoid getting stuck in the same patterns, and strengthen their bond. Couples also go to couples therapy part in good terms.

Maintaining a stable, well-functioning couple relationship takes work and lots of practice. It is not surprising that while we attend to all our life demands (work, parenting, extended family needs, friends, health, or financial issues), our relationship can become the last thing on the list. Even if we have a mostly harmonious and fulfilling relationship, we may have times when things are not so rosy and when we wonder whether our relationship will last.

Sometimes the sense of partnership dissipates as life goes on.  Negative or even positive events can take us further away from our partner. We might have been treating each other like strangers and wonder if we have anything in common.

Marriage counseling can help you be happy again in your relationship.  

Couples Therapy Can Help You Strengthen Your Relationship

Working with couples is my passion. I feel deeply committed to this type of work. My Marriage and Family Therapy background has given me the training to be comfortable working with relationship dynamics.

When I first meet with you, I like to get to know you both and your story. I want to know how you became interested in each other and what attracted you to one another in the first place. I also want to spend time with each of you individually to get to know you at a deeper level. Who are you as a person? What is your background? How do family dynamics and past relationships shape who you are now? After that we will define your couples goals and start working together to address them.

I often focus more on the dynamics and patterns that you two have developed a as a couple than on the content. Sometimes the healing starts when you can voice what is not said and express the deeper emotions involved in everyday interactions. For this purpose, I use CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and EFT (Emotional Focus Therapy) concepts.

CBT helps address the impact that your behaviors, thoughts, and emotions have in your relationship.  It is about holding each other accountable, supporting growth, and attending to each other’s needs. It also helps with problem/conflict resolution and communication training.

EFT (Emotional Focus Therapy) helps expand and reorganize your emotional responses to each other. Old negative patterns get replaced by new stronger interactions based on couples emotional needs.

Couples committed to working with each other can learn new ways to relate without engaging in conflictual patterns. Couples counseling with me will help you value your strengths and help you to better overcome your struggles.

Is couples therapy going to make things worse?

Some couples are hesitant to commit to couples counseling because of the fear that problems will escalate and become more significant. When couples wait too long to get support, sometimes it is even harder to bring them to a better place. There might be hard sessions, but some of those sessions have a lasting impact on your relationship because you can finally address feelings that you have not spoken for a long time.

The pandemic has been challenging for couples. A couple told me once "We are so glad we have been working with you. Despite our challenges with the pandemic, we feel better prepared to face it and stronger than we have been in a long time."

Is couples therapy expensive?

Therapy is not cheap but investing in your relationship can help you navigate the numerous trials and changes that you will face during your life. Having the tools to face adversity as a couple can help you avoid emotionally draining and expensive separation or divorce proceedings. You and your relationship deserve the support you need to be able to get to a better place.

What if we find new problems?

In marriage counseling we often uncover new problems and there are many ways to approach them. One of the advantages of couples therapy is that you get to view yourself through your partner's eyes. Sometimes, it is hard to address your challenges. Your partner is the best witness to your everyday life; knows you at your best and at your worst. Often it is easier to find clarity with the support of your loved ones. Other times individual therapy can be more effective.

Are You Ready To Learn How To Make Your Relationship Last?

There is always room for improvement in a relationship. If you want to schedule an appointment call 240-233-4477. I also offer a 15-minute free consultation to answer any questions you may have.

[1] See www.prevention.com (https://www.prevention.com/sex/relationships/a26285826/does-marriage-counseling-work/).