As you’ve probably experienced, a big part of anxiety is the catastrophic, worst-case scenario thoughts that it can create in your mind. Something that seems small to someone else might lead you into a tailspin of anxious negativity.
For example, perhaps you thought a co-worker ignored you in a meeting. Rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt or blowing it off, you go over and over the situation in your mind. Scenarios race through your mind: maybe they know you’re going to be laid off, you said something unknowingly to offend them, or they just think you’re incompetent.
Before you know it, you’re overcome with worry and self-doubt. This affects you so much that you can’t even look at your colleague the next day. You’re on pins and needles wondering what is going to happen next. You’ve spent hours ruminating on harmful thoughts instead of focusing your energy on something more uplifting and positive.
If this sounds like you, it’s good to know that there are steps you can take to regulate these anxious ruminations.
Challenge the Anxious Thoughts
While it may seem impossible at first, you truly can learn how to “talk back” to your anxious, negative thoughts. When beginning this process, many find it helpful to keep a log of their anxious thoughts.
So, get a pen and paper and write them down. Then, write down evidence to support these thoughts. Next, write down evidence against them. Honestly evaluate how realistic those thoughts are. Finally, reframe the negative thoughts.
Choose What You’ll Focus On
The more you do this type of thought challenging exercise, the more you can begin to realize that you actually get to decide what you’re going to focus on.
Practice telling yourself good things when anxious thoughts start to intrude. Make a list of your strengths, your accomplishments, your loved ones. And then repeat those things to yourself when you feel anxious. Step-by-step, you’ll start replacing the anxiety-driven ruminations with ones that are more true and helpful.
Gratitude Journal
Keeping a gratitude journal is a time-honored practice. It goes hand in hand with the fact that you get to choose what to focus on. As you take time to notice the many good things, big and small, that surround you, you will notice a shift in your perspective.
List everything you can think of to be thankful for. The more you think about it, the more you’ll come up with. You’ll be creating positive thoughts to uproot the anxiety-driven ones.
Let Go
Another part of learning to displace negative ruminations is to see them for what they are—they are just thoughts. They are not reality.
A simple mindfulness meditation practice can help you learn to observe your thoughts without getting upset. As they pop up into your mind, you learn to just let them go. In time, you can come to realize that they are neutral, neither good nor bad.
Pay Attention to Triggers
It’s also really helpful to pay attention to what situations, events, and people trigger your anxiety and negative ruminations. You may have developed these triggers so early in your life that it’s difficult to tease them out. Likewise, the habit of anxiety could be so ingrained into your everyday experiences that you struggle to do this. Or perhaps you already know what triggers your worst-case imaginations.
In either case, counseling can offer an invaluable way to help you uncover and deal with your anxiety triggers.
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While it may not feel easy or natural, you can learn how to regulate your anxious thoughts. Counseling is helpful for many people with anxiety. If you’d like to learn more, I encourage you to reach out to me. You can find more information in Anxiety treatment.